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[07 Feb 2006|04:07pm] |
Fuck this.
I hate everyone right about now.
Especially myself.
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[30 Dec 2005|07:26pm] |
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I'm going to kill foreigners. Mollie and me called a cab FORFUCKINGEVERAGO to go got the loop. THEY STILL aren't here/there. im pissed.
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[27 Dec 2005|05:46pm] |
okayyyyyy. so i'm going to the loop! wooo.
lol
im goin with colby courteney jill ryan alan. and i think thats it? OH AND CALEY!!!!!!!!! yayayyyyyyy lol
I have so much money. And I have a little gift card for lowes so im goin to see wolf creek. I dont know if it will be good.. it looks okay. its about three backpackers in austrailia. and thats about it,. they get lost on the journey of a life time and stupidly accept help from a local which turns out horribly wrong. Ill tell you about it later i guess.
well im going to finish getting readyyyyyyyy
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| RESOLUTION! |
[27 Dec 2005|08:36am] |
Stole this from Nakita..
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[24 Dec 2005|12:56pm] |
I'm done cleaning.
I'm going to hang out with Adam.
Then at 4 I have a nail appointment.
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| yeahhh... |
[07 Dec 2005|03:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 cold |
] |
Okay. So he wasn't in school today.
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[10 Sep 2005|07:37pm] |
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mood |
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 dorky |
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music |
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Summer Nights*Lil' Rob |
] |
K so I have a wonderful boyfriend.
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| omgosh... |
[30 Aug 2005|09:54am] |
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mood |
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 content |
] |
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music |
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Mariah Carey* The One |
] |
So I met this boy Nate at the loop on friday night and I think he's great. I've told a few people about him so I figured why not post a couple pictures? :o)
( picturessss )
Let me know what you thinkkk :p
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[08 Aug 2005|05:46pm] |
Yeahhhhhh I'm angry.
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| LOOOOOSER |
[25 Jun 2005|11:31am] |
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mood |
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 blah |
] |
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music |
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Brandy*I thought |
] |
greaaaaaat. Dad just saw the bruise from Matt when he was here and stuff that I'm not going to post and accused MIKE of doing it. What a loser. Mike would never hurt me, he knows that. Oh well, after I told him some lame ass story so I didn't have to get into the whole Matt thing he was alright and was just like "oh, okay, well I'm your dad and it's my job to worry about things. I didn't mean to say that he would do that but you can never be too sure."
Yesterday was great; ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
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[24 Jun 2005|12:47pm] |
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mood |
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 PISSED |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Eminen*The Way I Am |
] |
I just wrote this really.. satisfying entry and then I was trying to find out how to make text larger and I was curious and clicked on "tags" and surprise! My whole entry is gone.
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| everything |
[23 Jun 2005|07:30pm] |
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mood |
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 indifferent |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Seether*Needles |
] |
Hey hey hey. Mike was supposed to come over, now he's not. I took two showers today. One cause Mike was coming.. then that got delayed so I worked out a bit and then took another cause he was supposed to be coming over and nobody likes a nasty girlfriend. :) But yeah, so now he's not coming. I did so much stuff to improve my looks today.. even though everything will probably take a while until everything comes together and has visible results it's definately going to be worth it, but yeah.
What I've done/what I'm doing
*Teeth whitener (I no longer smoke)
*Trying to get toned
*Clear up my face
*More lotion/diff lotion
*Try new makeup
*Tan
Also I'm trying to be a nicer person. I'm going to try to be more understanding and I'm going to be more trusting and I'll listen to people before I assume things and stuff. I don't know, I'll be more patient.
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[22 Jun 2005|07:45pm] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Brandy*Never Say Never |
] |
sorry for the lack of updates. I'm grounded. Until september. I'm sick to my stomach, I have been for a couple weeks. I can't eat or I get sick. Solution: don't eat. The same shits repeating itself over and over again- whatever. Me and Mike are still together. Honestly, even though things aren't always like they are in those fairytale romances, I can't seem to picture my life without him- not now anyways. Every time I try, or every time things get rough and talk about us no longer being able to consider it "us" comes up it tears me apart and I burst out crying; well okay, sobbing, can't breathe, and THEN full out fit of tears and a combo of all of the things I just mentioned. I don't know, there's so many things to think about and decide upon dealing with my life..it's tricky cause a lot of things are basically "damned if I do, damned if I don't". I don't get it, nor do I like it. Vacation in eight days. I miss Nakita and Raleigh horrendously.
I got a 65 in history for the term cause she's a dyke and wouldn't let me hand something in the morning after it was due even though her policy is "as long as it's in my hands before first period the next day it's not considered late". Yeah, my ass.
I'm going to Washington DC in October. School trip. Only 40 kids from my school are allowed to go, lucky me reserved my spot. yeah whatever. At least I get out of school and get to fuck around in an airport while everyone else is busy sitting in school doin stuff.
I don't know why but all day I've had the urge to listen to Brandy. And I love it. I love her lyrics. GO listen to her- now.
I feel wicked bad. I was supposed to call Nakita and I couldn't find her number and then I couldn't ask her for it cause she was away and didn't come back in time. Then I asked Caley and she didn't know the number. Nakita- I'm sorry.
Yeah, so I'm not in the best mood. I'm getting off the computer.
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| keys to my heart. |
[04 Jun 2005|09:14am] |
The Keys to Your Heart
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You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. |
In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. |
You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. |
You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. |
Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. |
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. |
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. |
In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered. |
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| Hate-Filled |
[27 May 2005|07:56pm] |
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music |
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The Early November* Ever So Sweet |
] |
Don't read this if you're just going to complain about it cause I don't want to hear it.
Shit has been going ALL WRONG lately.
So much for a happy 3 month.
I don't know what to do anymore. I like Mike, I don't want to break up with him or have him break up with me but sometimes it just seems like the right thing to do. It feels like it would be a good break for us both. I don't know why I get so worked up whenever the thought of breaking up comes around though. Maybe I like him just that much? I don't lnow. I'm so confused. I'm surprised I haven't gone into a coma.. there's so much shit going on in my mind lately. I have to worry about so much.
Is it worth it? There are way too many things that I'm stressing about. Finals.. boyfriend.. friends.. sexuality.. job.. and other shit i don't feel like writing about cause well basically i dont feel like having EVERYONE in the whole world reading about it. whatever im on the phone with mike im leaving. kthnxbye
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| ♥ |
[21 May 2005|09:18am] |
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Hey hey hey. stuffs been shitty lately. again. sorry i haven't had time to update! i don't really have time now but yeah i'll update laterrrr. ♥ ♥ ♥
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[05 May 2005|04:56pm] |
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mood |
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pissed/sad |
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im in such a fuckign shitty ass mood.
why the fuck do i try anymore. im fuckign crying so fuckign hard right now. i swear im such a fucking loser. i dont know why i let myself get worked up abotu stupid shit im a fucking douchebag. i hate myself right now. im a bad person. im a fucking shitty ass girlfriend. i make him feel like shit about himself i bet. im surprised he hasnt cheated on me with someone better whos a better person.
what the fuck ever. im fucking in the worst mood because i dont know why but me and him have been having so many fights and shit lately its fucking gay. he asks if i cheat.. uhh duhh if i get so worked up about shit so easily then no. yeah so i havent seen him since monday. and he asked to hang out. i suggested him coming over here cause i didnt go to school today. he says sure. i ask my dad it takes a while for him to answer cause hes busy. in the meantime me and mike fight about stupid shit. then i get an answer and before i said it mike was like "ill just talk to you later" and i mean what am i supposed to say..? i was like uhhhh sure.. whatever bye. so 10 mins later after i cooled down i called him back and was like yeah u can come over and hes like oh im going to kerrys with dave i cant.
that pissed me the fuck off like you have no fucking clue. especially because kerry made it so that mikes mom thinks/called me a whore. YEAH that makes me feel fucking great. I love how people make shit their business and shit like that. fuckin pisses me off. yeah so he was like "im gonna confront kerry about that thing" and it pissed me off so i was like "i dont fucking care!" and he hung up. i cried more and then called him back apologizing and what do i get..."dont apologize if you dont mean it"
pissed me off more.
yeah so he was like "im gonna call you around 6 i might go over then" and i was like oh well idno cuz my mom will be home soon and then he got all pissed cause i was pissed that he was chillin w/ dave and kerry even though he knew i fucking wanted him to come over here. but yeah thats alright.. im supposed to be okay with that i guess? newsflash. im not.
but yeah so now he might not come at all. even though i pointed out how i think its RETARDED how he just told me last night how he wants to see ME more and how he ALWAYS gets to see them and NEVER gets to see me. And he got pissed when i pointed out the fact that i really wanted to see him today because i havent since monday and i thought it would be good for our relationship or whatever if he came over cause of all the fights weve been having since.. well.. monday actually. but yeah im just a girl, not like i know anything.
whatever. im out. if you wanna hang out let me know before i fucking kill myself.
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| .. |
[05 May 2005|07:20am] |
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i missed the bus. accidentally of course..
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| =) |
[28 Apr 2005|05:04pm] |
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mood |
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mixed. |
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music |
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uhhh dno the name. |
] |
I GOT INTO ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENCE! yesssssss!
so then afterschool ms. cooks granddaughter was on the bus. Omgosh shes horrible. She got stuff on taylors pants. and then mine. on the ass. so me and taylor went to her house, i borrowed jeans. and then we went to meet mike at dunkin donuts like planned and get food and crap... but yeah. so 4:10 comes around and no mike. then my gay phone goes off and i was like oh hey look i have a voicemail. so i checked it and it was from mike. yeah so he said hes not coming, LAME. so i waited for NOTHING and then i had to walk back home. Tay got sick.. =\ i hope shes feeling better. ill probably call her later on or something. But yeah. so mike wants to come over later around 6:30. but yeah i dont know im pretty pissed.
Alright .. UNGROUNDED ON SATURDAY! <3333 later loves.
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| blahhh |
[27 Apr 2005|09:09am] |
im in school.
im wicked hungry.
im freezing.
my phone went off in HR
Mike cant come over today.
its raining.
today sucks.
im tired.
Yeah i know, this is all things that i dont like right now. deal. ive got the GAYEST classes. 3 computer. oh baby. then health. *exciting..not* then weve got gym and shit. yea.. so the only real class that we have is as. i forgot my boots. I hope we dont do anything.oh and self tanner SUCKS. and i slept way too late today.. and forgot to call mike when i was supposed to last night. mehhh whatever. im so out of it. and i keep thinking of the shit that bothers me..and it fucking sucks.
i think the only good thing is that Doris is back and it's almost lunch. kinda sorta. oh and i get to fuck around online for like another hour. yeah. so mollies not here either. i feel alone. oh well. I dont feel like talking to anyone today anyways.theres too much shit on my mind.
todays 2 months for me and mike..<3
whatever. i wonder why half the shit i worry about even bothers me. its wicked gay. some shits been bothering me for months. i shouldnt care about one thing now cause i have a boyfriend and ive learned that i was used and i guess i just dont know how to accept the fact that its done and over with. yeah well i guess thats it i gotta go work on some shit in excel. </3
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