babygrlx0o

babygrlx0o @ 2006-02-07T16:07:00

2006-02-07T21:14:24Z

Fuck this.

I hate everyone right about now.
Especially myself.

babygrlx0o @ 2005-12-30T19:26:00

2005-12-31T00:27:14Z

I'm going to kill foreigners. Mollie and me called a cab FORFUCKINGEVERAGO to go got the loop. THEY STILL aren't here/there. im pissed.

babygrlx0o @ 2005-12-27T17:46:00

2005-12-27T22:49:26Z

okayyyyyy. so i'm going to the loop! wooo.
lol
im goin with colby courteney jill ryan alan. and i think thats it? OH AND CALEY!!!!!!!!! yayayyyyyyy lol
I have so much money. And I have a little gift card for lowes so im goin to see wolf creek. I dont know if it will be good.. it looks okay. its about three backpackers in austrailia. and thats about it,. they get lost on the journey of a life time and stupidly accept help from a local which turns out horribly wrong. Ill tell you about it later i guess.

well im going to finish getting readyyyyyyyy

RESOLUTION!

2005-12-27T13:36:44Z

Stole this from Nakita..

In the year 2006 I resolve to:

Smoke canadian weed.

Get your resolution here

babygrlx0o @ 2005-12-24T12:56:00

2005-12-24T17:56:34Z

I'm done cleaning.
I'm going to hang out with Adam.
Then at 4 I have a nail appointment.

yeahhh...

2005-12-07T20:44:01Z

Okay. So he wasn't in school today.

babygrlx0o @ 2005-09-10T19:37:00

2005-09-10T23:37:49Z

K so I have a wonderful boyfriend.

omgosh...

2005-08-30T14:03:02Z

So I met this boy Nate at the loop on friday night and I think he's great. I've told a few people about him so I figured why not post a couple pictures? :o) Let me know what you thinkkk :p

babygrlx0o @ 2005-08-08T17:46:00

2005-08-08T21:47:01Z

Yeahhhhhh I'm angry.

LOOOOOSER

2005-06-25T15:33:26Z

greaaaaaat. Dad just saw the bruise from Matt when he was here and stuff that I'm not going to post and accused MIKE of doing it. What a loser. Mike would never hurt me, he knows that. Oh well, after I told him some lame ass story so I didn't have to get into the whole Matt thing he was alright and was just like "oh, okay, well I'm your dad and it's my job to worry about things. I didn't mean to say that he would do that but you can never be too sure."

Yesterday was great; ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

babygrlx0o @ 2005-06-24T12:47:00

2005-06-24T16:49:03Z

I just wrote this really.. satisfying entry and then I was trying to find out how to make text larger and I was curious and clicked on "tags" and surprise! My whole entry is gone.

everything

2005-06-24T00:11:35Z

Hey hey hey. Mike was supposed to come over, now he's not. I took two showers today. One cause Mike was coming.. then that got delayed so I worked out a bit and then took another cause he was supposed to be coming over and nobody likes a nasty girlfriend. :) But yeah, so now he's not coming. I did so much stuff to improve my looks today.. even though everything will probably take a while until everything comes together and has visible results it's definately going to be worth it, but yeah.

What I've done/what I'm doing
*Teeth whitener (I no longer smoke)
*Trying to get toned
*Clear up my face
*More lotion/diff lotion
*Try new makeup
*Tan

Also I'm trying to be a nicer person. I'm going to try to be more understanding and I'm going to be more trusting and I'll listen to people before I assume things and stuff. I don't know, I'll be more patient.

babygrlx0o @ 2005-06-22T19:45:00

2005-06-22T23:55:03Z

sorry for the lack of updates. I'm grounded. Until september. I'm sick to my stomach, I have been for a couple weeks. I can't eat or I get sick. Solution: don't eat. The same shits repeating itself over and over again- whatever. Me and Mike are still together. Honestly, even though things aren't always like they are in those fairytale romances, I can't seem to picture my life without him- not now anyways. Every time I try, or every time things get rough and talk about us no longer being able to consider it "us" comes up it tears me apart and I burst out crying; well okay, sobbing, can't breathe, and THEN full out fit of tears and a combo of all of the things I just mentioned. I don't know, there's so many things to think about and decide upon dealing with my life..it's tricky cause a lot of things are basically "damned if I do, damned if I don't". I don't get it, nor do I like it. Vacation in eight days. I miss Nakita and Raleigh horrendously.

I got a 65 in history for the term cause she's a dyke and wouldn't let me hand something in the morning after it was due even though her policy is "as long as it's in my hands before first period the next day it's not considered late". Yeah, my ass.

I'm going to Washington DC in October. School trip. Only 40 kids from my school are allowed to go, lucky me reserved my spot. yeah whatever. At least I get out of school and get to fuck around in an airport while everyone else is busy sitting in school doin stuff.

I don't know why but all day I've had the urge to listen to Brandy. And I love it. I love her lyrics. GO listen to her- now.

I feel wicked bad. I was supposed to call Nakita and I couldn't find her number and then I couldn't ask her for it cause she was away and didn't come back in time. Then I asked Caley and she didn't know the number. Nakita- I'm sorry.

Yeah, so I'm not in the best mood. I'm getting off the computer.

keys to my heart.

2005-06-04T13:14:55Z

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Hate-Filled

2005-05-28T00:27:22Z

Don't read this if you're just going to complain about it cause I don't want to hear it.

Shit has been going ALL WRONG lately.

So much for a happy 3 month.
I don't know what to do anymore. I like Mike, I don't want to break up with him or have him break up with me but sometimes it just seems like the right thing to do. It feels like it would be a good break for us both. I don't know why I get so worked up whenever the thought of breaking up comes around though. Maybe I like him just that much? I don't lnow. I'm so confused. I'm surprised I haven't gone into a coma.. there's so much shit going on in my mind lately. I have to worry about so much.

Is it worth it? There are way too many things that I'm stressing about. Finals.. boyfriend.. friends.. sexuality.. job.. and other shit i don't feel like writing about cause well basically i dont feel like having EVERYONE in the whole world reading about it. whatever im on the phone with mike im leaving. kthnxbye

♥

2005-05-21T13:21:20Z

Hey hey hey. stuffs been shitty lately. again. sorry i haven't had time to update! i don't really have time now but yeah i'll update laterrrr. ♥ ♥ ♥

babygrlx0o @ 2005-05-05T16:56:00

2005-05-05T21:09:44Z

im in such a fuckign shitty ass mood.

why the fuck do i try anymore. im fuckign crying so fuckign hard right now. i swear im such a fucking loser. i dont know why i let myself get worked up abotu stupid shit im a fucking douchebag. i hate myself right now. im a bad person. im a fucking shitty ass girlfriend. i make him feel like shit about himself i bet. im surprised he hasnt cheated on me with someone better whos a better person.

what the fuck ever. im fucking in the worst mood because i dont know why but me and him have been having so many fights and shit lately its fucking gay. he asks if i cheat.. uhh duhh if i get so worked up about shit so easily then no. yeah so i havent seen him since monday. and he asked to hang out. i suggested him coming over here cause i didnt go to school today. he says sure. i ask my dad it takes a while for him to answer cause hes busy. in the meantime me and mike fight about stupid shit. then i get an answer and before i said it mike was like "ill just talk to you later" and i mean what am i supposed to say..? i was like uhhhh sure.. whatever bye. so 10 mins later after i cooled down i called him back and was like yeah u can come over and hes like oh im going to kerrys with dave i cant.

that pissed me the fuck off like you have no fucking clue. especially because kerry made it so that mikes mom thinks/called me a whore. YEAH that makes me feel fucking great. I love how people make shit their business and shit like that. fuckin pisses me off. yeah so he was like "im gonna confront kerry about that thing" and it pissed me off so i was like "i dont fucking care!" and he hung up. i cried more and then called him back apologizing and what do i get..."dont apologize if you dont mean it"

pissed me off more.

yeah so he was like "im gonna call you around 6 i might go over then" and i was like oh well idno cuz my mom will be home soon and then he got all pissed cause i was pissed that he was chillin w/ dave and kerry even though he knew i fucking wanted him to come over here. but yeah thats alright.. im supposed to be okay with that i guess? newsflash. im not.

but yeah so now he might not come at all. even though i pointed out how i think its RETARDED how he just told me last night how he wants to see ME more and how he ALWAYS gets to see them and NEVER gets to see me. And he got pissed when i pointed out the fact that i really wanted to see him today because i havent since monday and i thought it would be good for our relationship or whatever if he came over cause of all the fights weve been having since.. well.. monday actually. but yeah im just a girl, not like i know anything.

whatever. im out. if you wanna hang out let me know before i fucking kill myself.

..

2005-05-05T11:20:54Z

i missed the bus. accidentally of course..

=)

2005-04-28T21:14:44Z

I GOT INTO ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENCE! yesssssss!

so then afterschool ms. cooks granddaughter was on the bus. Omgosh shes horrible. She got stuff on taylors pants. and then mine. on the ass. so me and taylor went to her house, i borrowed jeans. and then we went to meet mike at dunkin donuts like planned and get food and crap... but yeah. so 4:10 comes around and no mike. then my gay phone goes off and i was like oh hey look i have a voicemail. so i checked it and it was from mike. yeah so he said hes not coming, LAME. so i waited for NOTHING and then i had to walk back home. Tay got sick.. =\ i hope shes feeling better. ill probably call her later on or something. But yeah. so mike wants to come over later around 6:30. but yeah i dont know im pretty pissed.

Alright .. UNGROUNDED ON SATURDAY! <3333 later loves.

blahhh

2005-04-27T13:22:25Z

im in school.

im wicked hungry.
im freezing.
my phone went off in HR
Mike cant come over today.
its raining.
today sucks.
im tired.

Yeah i know, this is all things that i dont like right now. deal. ive got the GAYEST classes. 3 computer. oh baby. then health. *exciting..not* then weve got gym and shit. yea.. so the only real class that we have is as. i forgot my boots. I hope we dont do anything.oh and self tanner SUCKS. and i slept way too late today.. and forgot to call mike when i was supposed to last night. mehhh whatever. im so out of it. and i keep thinking of the shit that bothers me..and it fucking sucks.

i think the only good thing is that Doris is back and it's almost lunch. kinda sorta. oh and i get to fuck around online for like another hour. yeah. so mollies not here either. i feel alone. oh well. I dont feel like talking to anyone today anyways.theres too much shit on my mind.

todays 2 months for me and mike..<3

whatever. i wonder why half the shit i worry about even bothers me. its wicked gay. some shits been bothering me for months. i shouldnt care about one thing now cause i have a boyfriend and ive learned that i was used and i guess i just dont know how to accept the fact that its done and over with. yeah well i guess thats it i gotta go work on some shit in excel. </3

yesterday

2005-04-16T18:01:04Z

mike came over after school. <3 =) he stayed until like almost 10. it was fun. i cooked pasta and shit. haha i know, it's wicked easy. But still I'd usually just order out or something. lol so we watched a movie in the car.. umm.. something cold.. cold mountain? no.. i dont know. it was about a bunch of people who are on a mountain and theres a guy whos always drunk and this slutty swedish girl and yeah.. that's it? lol but ummm my mom took my phone away last night cause she checked my room and it is a MESS so i had to straighten it and now i have my cell phone back.. i got a message from mike and i think hes mad.. cause i asked him if he wanted me to call and he said if you dont fall asleep or anything. so yeah.. i was going to.. but anyways the message was like "hey thanks for falling asleep and not answerign your phone. its 11:35.. blah blah blah.. " and yeah i felt bad. and i was going to call his house to tell him why i didnt and then i was like wait.. cause in the message he said he was going somewhere with jeff at 12 so i dno when theyll be home. oh well whatever. i hope he calls me later and isnt like.. pissed.

i have a fucking cold and i fuckign hate it. i keep coughing and all this shits in my throat. GROSS.

Nakita's got internet and shit now. and i got her number, im one lucky bitch. <3 now we can talk yay!

AAAAAAAAAND I SLEPT UNTIL LIKE 1:30 FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE! NOBODY WOKE ME UP!!! SCORE!

stolen from michelle.

2005-04-15T09:58:02Z

( ) no
(x) yes
(?) maybe or something

(x) smoked a cigarette
( ) smoked a cigar
(x) made out with a member of the same sex
( ) crashed a friend's car
( ) stolen a car
(?) been in love
(x) been dumped
(x) shoplifted
( ) been fired
(?) been in a fist fight
(x) snuck out of your parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back.
( ) been arrested
( ) made out with a stranger
(x) gone on a blind date
( ) had a crush on a teacher
(x) skipped school
( ) slept with a co-worker
( ) seen someone die
( ) had a crush on one of your LJ friends
(x) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico.
(x) been on a plane
( ) thrown up in a bar
(x) purposely set a part of yourself on fire.
( ) eaten Sushi.
(x) been snowboarding
( ) met someone in person from LJ
( ) been moshing at a concert
(x) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(x) made a snow angel
(x) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
(x) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake id
(x) watched the sun set
( ) felt an earthquake
(x) touched a snake.
(x) slept beneath the stars
(x) been tickled
( x behind my back.. friends suck huh?) been robbed
(x) been misunderstood
(x) petted a reindeer/goat
( ) won a contest
( ) run a red light
( ) been suspended from school
(x) been in a car accident
(x) had braces
(x) felt like an outcast
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
(x) danced in the moonlight
(x) hated the way you look
(x) witnessed a crime
( ) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
(x I believe so) been obsessed with post-it notes
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost.
( ) been to the opposite side of the country
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
( ) sung karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) danced in the rain
(x) written a letter to Santa Claus
(x) been kissed under a mistletoe
(x) watched the sun rise with someone you care about.
(x) blown bubbles
(x) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a party
(x) gone rollerskating
(x) had a wish come true
( ) humped a monkey
(x) worn pearls
(x) jumped off a bridge
(x) screamed penis in class
( ) ate dog/cat food
(x. kidding tho) told a complete stranger you loved them
(x) kissed a mirror
(x) sang in the shower
(x) have a little black dress
(x) had a dream that you married someone
(x) glued your hand to something
(? to the fridge.)got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
( ) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sexes clothes
( ) been a cheerleader
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours.
(x) stayed up all night
( ) didn’t take a shower for a week
(x) pick and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
(x) had a tree house
(sometimes) are scared to watch scary movies alone
(?) believe in ghosts
( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
( ) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
( ) gone streaking
(x) played ding-dong-ditch
(x) played chicken
(x) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger.
( ) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused
( ) caught a fish then ate it
( ) made porn
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
( ) mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
(x) have a Britney Spears CD
(x) forgotten someone’s name
( ) slept naked
(x) French braided someone’s hair
( ) gone skinny dipping in a pool
(x) been threatened 2 b kicked out of ur house
(x temporarily) been kicked out your house?

LONG ENTRY..

2005-04-14T21:47:30Z

what the fuck. This is fucking gay. Okay.... so there's a lot of shit going on lately. and I'm too fucking overwhelmed and stressed out to like.. feel anything.

all the things and shit that have been making me go crazy lately..
*the fact that I don't know where I'm going to school next year.. I got into Whittier for culinary arts or fashion. one of the two.. but I'm not sure if i wanna switch.
*I'm constantly worrying about whether I made ES or not
*trying to get along with my parents..mehh not working
*being grounded
*not being able to see Mike when I want to.. it's so inconvenient. i feel as though i've been depriving him and shit i don't know. it's kinda fucked up so i don't know how to explain it.
*feeling like mike doesn't like me
*i think he's avoiding me.. i called him last night and he didn't answer. or call back. ever. Then i called him today after school at like 3:30 and he didn't answer. or call back. He usually calls me like "did u call me?" when he sees my number on the caller id. but yeah it seems like he's avoiding the phone when it comes to talking to me. but i could just be paranoid. But come to think of it.. i wouldn't be surprised if he was because i fucking promised him i'd call him last night between 11:30 and 12:30 but no i had to fucking do shit with my aunt.. go home, fall asleep, and STUPIDLY rely on my fucking broken ass phone to wake me up at the time i set the fucking alarm for and the god damn thing never fucking went off so i ended up calling him at 2:15. i feel bad. i hope he doesn't hate me
*FRIENDS- whether they're telling me how much they want to kill themselves, how mad they're getting when they call and I never pick up or whatever (cause I don't always feel like talking or i dont have my phone on me...) and shit orrrrr if they fucking HANG ALL OVER SOMEONE THEY FUCKING TOLD ME NOT TO TOUCH CAUSE "YOU HAVE A FUCKING BOYFRIEND HEATHER" or since i havent in a while "YOU KNEW I FUCKING LIKED HIM HEATHER" and shit like that. it's not thst i fucking like this kid anymore its just the fact that my fuckin friend can bitch at me for friggin doin shit with him and then she fuckin becomes a hypocritical bitch and does the same things i did probably even fuckin more.

whatever im getting pissed.

* i fucking hate the fact that everytime i get close to not smokin anymore i just get the urge and DO IT. BLAH why cant all the stress in my life go away just long enough for me to not have to be like "omg.. im stressed i needa smoke.." and shit like that.. seroiously.

I HATE MY DAD. WELL I DONT BUT HES SO ANNOYING. IM TRYING TO TYPE THIS AND THEN HE COMES OVER AND LIKE ANNOYS THE SHIT OUT OF ME SO I HAD TO MINIMIZE THIS SO HE WOULDNT BE LIKE OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING cause he ALWAYS does.

*i fucking hate hispanic boys who are obsessed with me and think im their "one and only" and think we have a "relationship" and harass me and stuff like.. ALL DAY LONG. i hate them (well this one boy) SO MUCH its not even funny. but i hate it more when they call my friends and tell them how i make him feel like shit and how i broke his heart and how hes worthless cause i dont like him. and i hate it MORE when he cries to them. cause then he makes me seem like an asshole for just saying "hey look i dont like you that way. sorry. i never did, maybe you should look for someone else." and also because i take absolutely no pity in them when that say that they havent gone out with anyone the whole school year cause theyve been "waiting" for me to give them a chance and go out with them so they can "prove how much they love me" and stuff. it's wicked gay. i hate it HATE IT HATE IT

what the fuck my dad just pissed me off more. he's so annoying. its liek he cant fucking see that im in a bad mood and then he fucking "jokes around with me" when its really just pissing me off mroe cause im like wicked pissed so IM NOT IN THE MOOD, and its not like hes actually funny when he jokes around about how hes "gonna put butter on my nose" with a knife. or how im a boy? yeaaaaah dad get a fucking life.

whatever sorry for this whole thingerrrrrrr
i probably like over reacted WAY too much over a lot of things. but hey thats alright. it's my journal. i write what i want. you dont have to read it if you dont want to. =)

mikes *supposed* to come over tomorrow.. but if he doesnt call me before 7 or 7:30 i'm not so sure if i *want* him to come over.. cause then i'll just be pissed and irritated and it will be pointless for him to come over cause chances are if i'm wicked pissed at him or about something having to do with him tonight then i'll probably still be pissed tomorrow. mehh oh well... i guess that's it for this update.

Heather<*3

=)

2005-04-13T10:45:06Z

No school for meeeee. lol hahah. Sucky thing is.. I think I have allergies or some shit. But yeah that's not why I'm staying home from school. My parents don't seem to care whether I do or not lately.. well my dad doesn't at least. "if you decide to stay home afterall just think of something to tell your mom" is all he said when i told him i might stay home today. yay todays gonna be a nice dayyyyyyy. lol

babygrlx0o @ 2005-04-10T08:53:00

2005-04-10T13:04:31Z

hey hey heyyyy! i can finally use the comp for this kind of stuff but yeah. anywaysssss not too much has been going on. I still havent gone out anywhere with my friends.. well except the library with ashley and then we met up with derik jeff and mike. lol but yeah we all went to get food and then we went to wal*mart. But yeah mom and dad dont know thank god or else id be grounded for waaaaayyy longer. Me and mike are still going out.. <3

Friday night I got my rook pierced. I'll post a pic sometime soon. My dad was all weirded out by everyone getting their lips and tongues and shit pierced lol it was wicked funny.

yesterday which was saturday.. i finally got to hang out with mike with my parents knowing and shit. He came to hampton with me and my mom to pick something up and then came back here to hang out. We hung out with ashley too for a while. woooo. lol but yeah i was craving ice cream so fucking bad yesterday and then my aunts like heyyyy!!! want ice cream?! lol and i was like fuck yeah. so we had ice cream and then went to staples and dropped mike off. It was a pretty fun day cause i spent most of it with mike<3

I guess today im goin to the plum island reservation thinger. i havetn been there in like forever, but yeah im sure it will be pretty cool. or i hope it will. Mike might come cause he asked me if he could so yeah im juss waitin on my dad to answer on that one. Schools almost out for april vacation, it gets out on friday thank god. i need a break from school so bad.

Thats it for now loves.<3

OH WAAAAAIT... i got a phone call from nakita yesterday and i was like "omgggggg" and shit like that lol. shes in IL and shes gotta house with a pond and im so excited for her<3333 i think ill go visit her this summer if i can save up enough money.

bostons comin up in 3 weeks. ahhh boston=<3

and i think deriks getting me tomorrow from somewhere.. either my school.. but if not ill ask him to get me and ash at carters.. ice creammm <3

Heatherrrr<333*